It’s that time: stress strikes again! You only have 24 hours in a day, but so many daunting tasks to perform this time. Just thinking about it makes you weak in the knees and your self-confidence flies out the window while stress makes a grand entrance. How are you supposed to pull it all off?! Surely none of this is going to work out? And should something go right, sooner or later something will go wrong, just wait and see. It’s only a matter of time and then….
If you prefer a short summary of the article rather than reading it in full, watch the video below. In case you want to read the article in Dutch, click here.
Whoa! Stop, hold on!
It is very tempting to let this river of chaos and stress completely take you along to the ultimate destination called damnation, but do you want it to? Do you agree with the course your mind has set for you, or did you have something else in mind? Hopefully, you will choose the latter. But: how exactly? You can’t stop that thundering train once it leaves the railway station, can you? Right?
Actually, you can. Granted: the first time, there is a good chance that the train could derail completely. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily, but something to consider. How bad the damage is depends on how aware you are of your own reactions and survival mechanisms in different situations.
Are you aware of your position in that maelstrom of negative ghosts that want to pull you under the surface, drowning you in despair? Can you keep your head proudly above water, while calmly realising that this all-destroying tsunami can be stopped?
Inhale peace…, exhale stress…
As this deafening storm tries to take over your entire body, you have two choices: surrender, or decide to survive this storm and take control. “Yeah, right!”, you may be thinking now. “Surely you can’t do that at all! Once you panic, it’s over! You’re pulling my leg!”
Maybe, maybe not. If you think you are incapable of surviving the storms, then you are indeed as good as lost. There is also another way of thinking, namely: “Yes, I find this exciting and very scary, but I am tired of this and want my peace back! Either way, I WILL get it back!” This is a very different mindset from that of a shaky, insecure person. Note: it is fine to have these feelings, because otherwise you can behave very recklessly. But: if you want a different outcome, it is a good idea to try something different.
“Just tell me what to do already!” All right, here we go. Are you ready? Great! It’s very simple: breathe in, breathe out. But don’t just breathe please. Really try to push your belly from below your navel outwards while inhaling. And don’t cheat! Keep your mouth closed and breathe in through your nose. Exhale through your mouth. Again and again. Let your belly do all the work, not your chest. Just until your breathing is nice and calm and your body relaxed. That’s all you have to do.
Yes, but the stressful storm persists!
Oh, but it doesn’t just go away either, you know. It keeps raging quietly in your head. What about your body? Is it still in there as well? Who has become the boss there? You perhaps? How did it get that way? Right! Because of your belly breathing. So, um…, is that storm still as devastating as you first observed? Or has it diminished in strength? Strange, isn’t it? Where the hungry wind of fear of failure has taken big bites out of your self-confidence, it now looks like a bell jar has been placed over you. Those mean jagged teeth can no longer hurt you.
And? What about your thoughts? Are they still reigning supreme? Commanding you what is and isn’t good to think about? Or has a little distance come between you and them? Any idea how that came about? No. Well: you decided to focus only on your breathing, and ignore your thoughts. Remember: what you pay attention to, grows.
Whew! That’s a relief.
How lovely is that separation between you and that turmoil, isn’t it? If only it could last a little longer? Hm…, you know, it can! You probably guessed what to do: keep breathing deeply, as much and as long as you want. After all, you can’t help but take in oxygen if you want to last a few more years on this earth 😉. You don’t have to make any extra effort, except to pay close attention to your abdominal breathing as you inhale. Easy, right?
And now for those stressing tasks!
Now back to the stress of business as usual. All those tasks waiting for you. With renewed vigour, that nasty bully comes your way again, grinning meanly and smelling blood. Once again, here are the two choices you have: surrender, or decide to master this storm. Which will you go for this time? Ready for take-off? Breathe! And now: which task is the most logical one to tackle first? Followed by which one? And the one after that?
You got this!
Look at that! That seemingly insurmountable mountain of tasks has been completed, and without you going belly up. What a great feeling that produces, doesn’t it? And you know what? You pulled this off, and no one else. Do you feel your self-confidence growing? I bet you do.
All kidding aside
Of course, this is an example of how to handle such a stressful situation, but hopefully it has dawned on you that you are not totally helpless. Where there is a will, there is a way. Always. The moment you are losing your self-confidence, you can take it back. You don’t have to give that strength away, just keep it with you. Please remember this. You determine how you react to what happens to you, and no one else.
If you want to get even calmer and learn more about losing and regaining your self-confidence, click here!
